kristin has been a bad kristin
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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