I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just google imaged poop.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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