tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
