you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
