i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
