Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
