i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
