before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize