i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I love having hate sex.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
