so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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