yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
