Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
