Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
His nipple licking is glorious
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