I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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