ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
