we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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