let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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