Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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