Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
