you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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