i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
