I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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