I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
