i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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