The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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