You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
