Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
