You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
