i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
