its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
