Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
