he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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