Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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