is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
