Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
