i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
