Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
