I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
