It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
