I am in a vortex of obligation.
its not stalking. its research.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
