ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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