You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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