i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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