dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
