i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
