hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
