Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
