he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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