Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
