Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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