sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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