fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
