i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
