Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
