What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
