Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
