i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
