Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
