sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
