forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Let's get the cat blown out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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