don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
