At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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