his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize