Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
