I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
