Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize