also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
