It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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