you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
