I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you will always have a special place in my vag
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
