Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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