so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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