Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
we're so committed to being not committed
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
