I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
