Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
