so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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